7 Essential Behaviors for better coaching conversations
2014/3/19Alan Fine
Good coaching drives results. To become great coaches, leaders need to practice seven essential behaviors:
1. Believe in performers’ greatness. Effective coaches believe that their coachees have untapped greatness within them; their intention is to free up that greatness. What we believe about the people we coach is a key driver of their performance. What a coach pays attention to create their beliefs; and what a coach believes, drives and filters what they pay attention to.
2. Act as a mirror. To know whether we have an accurate perception of our own thinking and behavior, we need a mirror. Great coaches serve as a mirror for the coachee by providing objectivity to help them more accurately observe their own thinking and behavior. They use words and phrases such as, “My perception is…,” or “How it shows up to me is…”. The coachee can then know whether what they think they are doing is what they are actually doing.
3. Create a context of possibility. People act based upon how the world shows up to them—based on their beliefs about the world. Great coaches come from a mindset of possibility which helps coachees see the world differently. The coach brings a set of beliefs and assumptions that allows for dialogue in which the coachee sees more possibilities.
4. Get clear about responsibilities. Great coaches are clear that their role is not to be the expert giving answers to the coachee. They recognize that providing solutions (giving advice), however well intended, can create reliance on the coach’s expertise and a tendency to avoid taking ownership. Great coaches see their role as not to fish for the coachee but to teach them how to fish.
5. Create a safe environment. A safe environment accelerates a person’s learning and performance. What slows down this extraordinary ability is the internal conversations that go on in our minds, the ones that say, “Don’t screw up,” or “Everyone’s watching.” Once we develop those internal conversations, learning slows down. Great coaches create a safe environment where the coachee can “look in the mirror” without fear of judgment.
6. Help bring focus. Focus is a key element for great performance because it drives everything we do. Great coaches help their coachees discover what’s important to focus on and how to sustain that focus over time. What you pay attention to influences your beliefs, and what you believe influences what you pay attention to.
7. Become comfortable with uncertainty. Effective coaching gets past symptoms and addresses root causes. This often results in coaching discussions that go in directions that neither the coach nor coachee anticipated. Great coaches are comfortable with the uncertainty that goes with not knowing where the path of a coaching conversation might lead and what the discussion might reveal.
These seven behaviors are common with all great coaches. I invite you to identify ones that you can start implementing to have better conversations, to create more of an impact, and to improve your abilities as a leader and coach.
(From: Leadership Excellence, December, 2013)